Wishing my life away

I find myself looking forward to the end of the month when Nic and I head off to unspecified destinations in Europe. This will be good for two reasons, I get to spend lots of time with Nicola, of whom I am very fond and don’t see enough, and I don’t have to think about work, or work-like tasks for two whole weeks.

I feel tired, even though most nights all I do is go home, cook tea, watch TV, and go to bed. Part of this is all the things I need to or would like to do, but don’t quite get done.

Life between holidays sometimes seems like such a treadmill, filled with things to do that need to be done now. Time without things to do is wished away watching TV or on the internet, if Nicola is not around with me. Time spent at work is not usually spent clock watching, but it often seems a necessary evil to support the rest of life that never quite seems to happen. I often wonder what would happen if I didn’t have to work- would I live a life of leisure, or just take on more and more commitments to non-paying activities. I’m giving up on being registrar of SAGGA at the end of the month, but I think I’ll just end up volunteering to do other things.

Karen (Henderson?) claims to be a downshifter, a noble ideal but one I feel I’m not able to share, I naturally seem to feel that things need doing.

So thinking about these things I come up with quite a which list.

I wish I was an Assistant Explorer Scout Leader. Rather than an Explorer Scout leader.

I wish there were more people to help with the things I want to be done.

I wish Nicola would get her architecture sorted, and spend more time at home when I’m at home.

I wish I had less clutter at home.

I wish I had more time to do things. And fewer things to do.

I need more time and more space.


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