No, this isn’t about anything productive. I’m not talking about any book or article I’m about to publish or even a piece of coursework I desperately need to finish.
Several posts to this blog remain in drafts hell. Most have never left my head as the idea I had while walking to the playground evaporates or loses cogency when I’m faced with the tools to turn my thoughts into words other people can read.
One thought that keeps bubbling to the surface is how I took a stand against online bullying and normalised aggression and nastiness five years ago. I ultimately failed to make a difference, but I am still proud of myself- I feel I deserve a lot of respect for it. Sadly, even proud of my actions as I am, there are unresolved issues relating to this event that mean that this post may be less about my actions to make the world a better place, and more about my sense of unresolved bitterness at the way I was treated- as if I was the problem rather than the brave person standing up to it.
The second post is surrounding this post on a true story about Daily Mail lies. Mine is a more general piece about lies and the media, namely that I don’t think the fact “they all do it” makes it OK, and that there is a big gap between skewing a story toward a newspaper’s agenda, and simply making stuff up.
Part of what holds me back is the futility of blogging. Something that drives me on each day is a desire to work towards making the world a nicer and better place. Even standing up for people wronged as rude and nasty on the internet, by those far ruder and nastier, counts. Trouble is my capacity for actually achieving this is limited (as evidenced by the fact I chose a time where I tried and failed as a “proud moment”). It sometimes seems that more intelligent and philosophical blogging is unlikely to change minds, only to get the converted nodding and those that disagree riled rather than challenged. Opinion pieces seem to reinforce opinions, rather than change them.